Quite
a few people who reacted to my post (see below) thought it was real. It wasn't.
It was an attempt at satire. Part of its failure was my fault, for not making
it clear that it was satire. And part was the situation we are now living in, a
situation so bizarre that this kind of announcement is believable. The reaction
confirms Alfie Kohn's statement: In education, satire is now obsolete.
The
post was inspired by the news that 69% of Californians said they liked the
Common Core standards after hearing a brief statement about them. The statement
said only that they "are designed to ensure that students graduating from
high school have the knowledge and skills they need to enter college programs
or the workforce." I'm surprised anybody would object.
I
owe more than a hat-tip to Andy Borowitz, who writes amazing political satire.
Follow him on borowitzreport.com.
OVERWHELMING SUPPORT FOR THE COMMON CORE!!!
There is now no doubt: Americans overwhelmingly support
the common core. In a poll organized by the Pearson Publishing Company, 96%
strongly agreed with the statement, "Schools should teach important
things." By a wide margin, those surveyed also agreed that "teachers
should help students learn stuff."
Education Secretary Arne Duncan announed that
"This poll is a real-game changer. Despite the complaints of nay-sayers,
the public has finally got the message about the common core."
In a separate poll carried out among staff members of
the US Department of Education, 92% demonstrated their familiarity with
learning theory, responding that they recognized the name "Piaget."
Of those who did, however, 82% associated the name with a watch company.
(Hat-tip: Andy Borowitz)
We get it. You did just fine. Educators (and *fans* of education?) need more satire. Please tell us you're just getting started.
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